And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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