my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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