Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm sobbing to NWA
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
