I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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