that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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