508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
