Need sex. Gaining weight.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
