WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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