the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
