oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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