All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
