So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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