i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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