yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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