Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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