i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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