just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
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