How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
