I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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