I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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