I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
