Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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