ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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