What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
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