doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
