We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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