Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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