He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
