So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
