My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
