It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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