dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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