I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
