it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
