come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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