My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize