he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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