Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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