It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
