you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
