Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
