Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
