did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
