My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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