i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
