she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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