saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
