I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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