You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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