Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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