You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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