Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
