My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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