I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
