the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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