Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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