that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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