are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
