The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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