Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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