Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
