Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
