I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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