hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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