I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
