So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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