why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
