We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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