so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
